posting to maintain AND update

     So, apparently blogger wants you to actually post occassionally in order to maintain your blog. Unfortunately, I have been quite the slacker :/ Sorry, folks....all 2 of you, lol.
     I think I just reached a point that I felt irrelevant...boring, nobody really cares....nothing against anyone who actually DOES read.

     I did enjoy blogging when I was trying to post semi regularly. I think that's what I need to get back to...the day to day type stuff.

     And, in that spirit, let me update real quickly.
     We have been avid campers our entire married life. We camp very primitively...meaning that our favorite camp site has no electricity, no running water, no bath-house. What it does have is an amazing view across the lake with the mountains directly behind it.

     Years ago we had an old ugly rv that we had bought for $700 from some friends of ours. I loved having a camper because it made camping so much easier by not having to pack and unpack as much stuff.  We used that old mustard yellow and rust camper until it was falling apart and the motor gave out. And then we were back to tenting--which we were no strangers to. But, it was definitely more challenging and eventually we stopped going as often because of that.
     I guess around fall of 2016 we started tossing around the idea of getting another camper but, we didn't want to go in debt and we half heartedly looked at old used campers we could afford to pay cash for that were in decent condition.with no luck.
     Fast forward to summer of 2018 and we again were looking. And, this time we were seriously looking because when you're over 50, with bad backs and hips and overweight---well, let's just say that getting up down from an air mattress in a tent isn't an easy task lol.
     So, when we had looked at all the usual places for a few weeks--craigslist, facebook marketplace, etc with no luck so we decided to expand our search. We started making the rounds to local (within an hour and a half) rv dealerships. Found one we fell in love with but they sold it out from under us---another story for another day, lol. So, Camping World was out of the picture for us--I was not happy with the way they handled that situation. Luckily for us there is no shortage of RV sales in this area.

     Long story short, and after looking at what felt like a thousand campers (but was probably only about a hundred) we--or I--found one I loved. We could not afford to pay cash for it and even though we'd discussed going outside our price range we also decided on an amount of $10,000 or less. Well, I won't say how much this camper was but suffice it to say it was waay beyond our budget limit.

     She's a 32 footer that sleeps 8--really more AND there's room for air mattresses!

     I've slapped myself a hundred times for my weakness and for being a "debt free" hypocrite (since we're in debt up to our eyeballs now)...but we finally drove off the lot with that pretty girl in August of this year. And I love her! We've had several camping trips in her already and there's plenty of space for guests--especially grandkids--and that was our main purpose in purchasing such a large camper/travel trailer. She's really not all that fancy but she's family now, and I do love her.

This is the view from the door facing in to the left

This is the view from the "bedroom door"
The door you see to the left is the bathroom. The
door at the end of the hallway is for the bunk room.

the "master" lol...but it does have sliding doors that
that keep it separate and private from the rest of the trailer.

This is the view from beside the bathroom door toward
the right side of the camper

This is the view from outside the bathroom door toward the
left side of the camper with the slide out.

The right side of the bunk room.
*this table folds down into a 4th bunk

The bunk room on the left. Our granddaughter
has pretty much claimed that bottom bunk, lol. 

the bunk room....it's small but has a door
that separates it from the living space which I
LOVE.

from the sofa 

And this is our pretty girl sitting in our yard when we
brought her home. I'm amazed at how much bigger
she looks in the yard than inside the dealership where we bought her.

Isn't she lovely? But, seriously, we do love having a travel trailer. There are some cons but I think the pros far outweigh those. We're limited on where we can take it due to the size but I think she'll be around a few years.

     And, since this became longer and more drawn out than I intended I'll just leave it there for this update. I may just be back again soon though ;)
     I had intended to do a more thorough update but that just leaves more for another day ;)

     Thanks to anyone who is still following along or who took the time to read this.
Have a great day, y'all!

2018 kitchen "refresh"

Nothing major but I changed out some of my kitchen decor and I love the cleaner feel so I wanted to post a couple of photos :)
I loved my previous clock and sign over the sink but I feel that the new ones reflect my current style so much more accurately and I love the way the kitchen looks right now.
Although....as much as I love my countertops so much better than the original blue and white I am ready for a change so we'll see what the future hold in that department.

The sign above the window is new and also the sign in the
corner to the right of the stove is new since my last update.

The clock is new, I changed the flowers on the table and the
wooden star is also new(I'm getting another identical to go
underneath that one)

It's kinda crazy how just a couple of new things makes the whole place feel different.
Slowly but surely, friends, I'm finding my style and creating my perfect "tralace" :)
Have a great day!

What am I?

DISCLAIMER: This is going to be a long drawn out post...just so you go into it knowing what you're getting into. You'll probably reach the end and wonder what in the world you just read as there's no point to this post...no rhyme and no reason. You've been forewarned.....


Here I come again with another long overdue life update.

Gosh, you guys....I'm just sitting here with my fingers poised above the keyboard wondering where to start or what to say or even how to say what's in my head.
I think I'll start with a little background...sharing some things I've not shared here on the blog before.
This is something that I don't put out to the general population...not because I'm ashamed or unsure of who I am but rather  because not everyone understands the phenomenon. It's difficult to explain to someone who just doesn't "get it" and also I am just generally a private person.

But, here it is....I am an empath. Actually, I'm a pretty strong empath with mild psychic abilities. If you aren't sure what exactly an empath is then I encourage you to do some research. But, basically, just for the purpose of me getting this blog post down in black and white, an empath is someone who takes on the feelings and emotions of those around them...that is the barest definition and doesn't come close to fully explaining what an empath is or what it encompasses. It's something you are born with...and not something you just decide to be.
Note that there is a significant difference between being empathetic and actually being an empath.
From as early as I can remember I've known I was different and that I could see things in their barest truth. I always knew I could "read people" with an uncanny accuracy. It's all about the energy...I feel people's energy...I also feel the energy of SO many other things...almost everything puts off an energy vibe.
 It wasn't until quite a few years ago that I realized that there was a name for it or that there were other people just like me. And, since then I've done hours upon hours of reading and research just trying to learn and understand why I am the way I am. There is science behind it but I'm not going into all that.

The one thing I have not been able to get a grasp on is shielding...and that just means being able to shield myself from others' emotions.
I could sit here and tell you all day long how very difficult it is to take on the emotions of everyone around you and you will never understand. Heck, some of you may be shaking your heads and thinking that I've finally lost it.
You wouldn't be far from the truth. The past few months have taken their toll on me and my psyche.
I feel things strongly...not just the baggage of others but my own emotions as well. I tend to go all in when I love or care for someone. When they hurt or go through hard times "I" go through the same feelings. And, let's just say that the last few months have been a never ending barrage of worry, stress and heartache....and very little of it my own.
There was the stress of the holidays...2 of my boys laid off between Thanksgiving and New Years and obviously they struggled emotionally as well as financially. Our oldest son went through a heart wrenching break up that I feared would destroy him and myself along with him.  Our next to youngest made the announcement that he planned to move over 2500 miles away from and family. Then there was my own holiday stress of trying to make everything perfect for everyone. I've been sick 3 different times this winter and have a sore throat AGAIN. My oldest son switched from day shift to night shift so I have my 5 year old grandson a lot more often...and I love him and am so thankful for the time I get to spend with him, but he's exhausting. And then there was my brother who is a meth addict who has lived with us for the most part for just over a year now. It would be difficult to live with him in the best of circumstances but as an empath who feels his constant inner turmoil it became more than I could handle. He is diagnosed paranoid delusional not related to drugs or alcohol...he also suffers from an instituionalized personality disorder due to being in prison for so many years. He talks to himself a LOT...he questions absolutely everything, he comments on everything and he is always right. I think he likes to argue but it's mentally exhausting to deal with. His reality is on the opposite spectrum of mine and he refuses to budge...whereas a "normal" person knows that sometimes you have to make compromises and sacrifices in life.
On top of all that...which may not sound as bad as it's actually been....I had to deal with custody issues for my 17 year old niece. It was a lot more stressful and involved than I'd anticipated. I love her probably more than she realizes but she comes with her own set of emotional baggage.
As an empath...every single bit of this "stress" (for lack of a better word) is amplilfied exponentially. And, again, unless you ARE an empath you will not understand.
There are more...many many more... small stresses as well...but I'm not going to go down the entire list.
Heck, I don't even know why I'm even trying to put this all into words. Perhaps I'm subconsciously trying to put it into context for my own self.
My son did move away 2 weeks ago and to say that it has devastated me is to put it mildly. When he drove away it literally brought me to my knees and left me on the ground squalling uncontrollably until I vomited.  It's gotten better but barely.

I began to wonder if I was a freak of some kind because who really feels this broken and lost over a child moving away??
But, then I realized that it's BECAUSE I'm an empath...I become so emotionally vested in those I love (especially my children) that it amplifies every emotion. And, especially with this child because he and I have always had a strong bond. Unusually strong, in fact. And now there's a knot of emotion in my throat that refuses to go away. It is a physical hurt and the grief is unbelievable and unbearable at times.


You know...I don't even know where I'm going with this post. There's really no "point" to it. It's just a jumbled set of thoughts that may make absolutely no sense to anyone other than myself.

I just want to say that I'm getting better. I'm learning to focus and meditate, I'm working on growing spiritually because that is the root of all healing...both physical and mental.
I will come out on top of all this and I'll be happier than ever. But, for now it's a process that I am slowly clawing my way through.

I haven't crafted in months...not really. I did make a couple of Christmas gifts--they were quick projects and didn't even turn out that great.
But, crafting and scrapbooking make me happy so I'm going to do more of that.

Just bear with me, friends...I know I've not been myself the last few months. I've been a terrible wife and friend and not the greatest Mother or Nana....I've just let everything swallow me up. One thing I know is that I am a survivor and I will get through this "slump".  I'm not too proud to ask for prayers, good thoughts, positive energy...so send it my way.

If you've read through this far then you're either a saint or a very good friend...so, thank you!!