Worry is an ugly thing

For as long as I can remember I have been a worrier. And I do mean, literally as long as I can remember. Well before I was in school I worried about all sorts of things. Looking back, I believe it was the empath in me (oh, you didn't know I was an empath? Well, I don't shout that out because most people think I'm crazy when I tell them). Anyway, I think the empath part of me was picking up on the worry around me. Mama always worried about everything, which in turn, caused me to worry about everything.
Unfortunately, the worry has never lessened. There have been times in my life when worry absolutely consumed me to the point that I became suicidal. It was only by God's grace that I was able to overcome that dark part of my past.

Sadly, many of the things I worry about can be considered silly worries. And yet, I can't control it and the worry creeps in and tries to take control of me--of my mind and even my life. It is a great effort at times to keep things in perspective and realize that I'm being irrational. It's a struggle but I have learned for the most part not to let it control me.
I worry incessantly about the kids...all of them. For example, if I hear a siren my mind goes crazy and I am frantic until I hear from the kids that they're safe. It's completely irrational and I know that. Doesn't stop the fear or worry.

I worry about the past, about the future, and boy, do I worry about the present.
And that brings me to the real purpose of today's post.
The worries of today...and let me assure you that today is chock full of worry.

Worry for my oldest son and his family.
Worry for my 2nd oldest son and his family.
Both are situations I have no control of and yet I find myself thinking about them and worrying continually...going over the million and one "what if's" that are irrelevant because their issues are theirs to worry about and I have no control over them or the outcomes.
My youngest son is struggling with an asthma attack and that is always worrisome. He has his medication and I'm thankful but asthma can be a vicious and terrifying predator.
And today, like many days over the past few years, I'm worried for my nephew--the little boy that nobody wants. I probably shouldn't post that publicly, but public or private, it's no less true. This child has been shuffled back and forth between his parents several times. Each time they tire of "dealing" with him and send him back to live with the other. He spent about a year in foster care before being returned to his dad. He has some issues...behavioral, emotional and psychological.  This poor child is on the verge of reentering the foster care system and my heart is absolutely broken at the prospect and yet I'm powerless. My husband, whom I love and respect, are having a difference of opinion on whether we should take my nephew into our home. And I am left wondering how I will be able to sleep at night if we don't try and give him a stable home and the love and care he deserves.

And that, my friends and followers, is what I am worried about today. Technically, there is a laundry list of things I could add that I'm worried about but those are the biggies for today.

When you say your prayers tonight, please send up a prayer for my family. And if you don't pray, then good thoughts are always appreciated as well. I'm a firm believer in the power of positive energy.

I hope I haven't put anyone off with such a dreary post...I just needed to get those things off my chest and this seemed like a good venue.

I hope you'll check back later this week because I do have several scrapbook layouts ready to share with you.

Thanks for reading and have a great night!

Rhonda